So I started all this weight loss madness thinking it was for myself. To make myself feel better. I quickly and embarrassingly realized that it was to make that ex boyfriend want me back. I have never been that type of person, but it happened and there I was trying to change myself for someone. I stopped working out and dieting for a bit, and realized I hated myself for that even more. Not only was I going to let someone make me fat, but then I was going to let them stop me from bettering myself. I am not that girl. I hating letting other people's actions fuel mine, but now I think it's for the better. His new girlfriend is chubbed to the max, that's shallow and lame, I know. However, I am better then that, then the both of them, I am bettering myself for me, and they can all wallow in thier chubbedness. COOL.

I am back on the work out routine, the dieting however, has been harder for me to get back into. I just love food.

I've got to get back to Quicktrim and get them pillzzzzz, because they did help and I need all the help I can get.

KAY.

So for the past three or four days I have been loosing a pound a day. 

After my vacation I just kind of stalled at 200 lbs. So now I am down to 195. It's pretty exciting. 

I haven;t been eating much, not because I am like obsessed with loosing weight, but because I have been so stressed with my dad's surgery. I can't even concentrate, I have been sitting around just stressing. I have just been hating food lately. 

I went to the beach, and people I was going to be consuming alcohol with many many calories I didn't take my meds. Expecting to get home and have gained weight and fallen off track, I suprisingly lost a pound. SAHWEET.

All Charlie could talk about was how much weight I'd lost, I was like chill dude, just wait! I found this website where you put in the calories you consume in a day and it tells you how much you should weigh on certain dates. For me, it says by October 1 I should weigh 135. Exciting. HA.

I lack motivation to wake up in the morning and work out, maybe I should change my personal training time. 7:30 AM is killing me!

That dumb boyfriend who chubbed me up is trying to get back into my good graces. He's a fool, a moron, an idiot! WOW, he's a dummie. And if he wants this back, it'll take some time + convincing! And another ex-boyfriend has made a strange apperance back into my life, and I am not sure what to make of it. At first it was fine and we were simply friendly, but now I am getting such strange vibes that I'm just not sure how to handle it. BOYS, they're such a hassle!

WEEEEE!

Day Seven.

Day Seven.

Weight: 200. 

Loss so far: 7 lbs.

Not bad, not bad at all. Still not swimsuit ready when I am going to the beach in 12 days. Holy crappy. I'm not sure what I am going to do. 

I'm watching the Biggest Loser. HELLO INSPIRATION. 

I wish my boobs would shrink. Why can't that be the first place it comes from? Also the dumb stretch marks on my thighs have gotten darker! No cream that I try works. I'm freaking. 

OOOOTAY.

So these pills aren't doing anything to me that the doctors said they would. I don't get dry mouth and I'm not hyper. I actually get really tired after I take the second pill. My dad says that means it isn't working. But we'll see. 

I think my scale is broken. A boy got on it today and it said he weighed 125 pounds which I know is not true. 

P.S. That ex boyfriend's new girlfriend is really chubbed. (I'm shallow, I know.)

Day One.

Okay.. Day One

Weight: 207 [fghfkjgfhgfjg fml]

I took both pills & now I'm going to work. 

This is exactly what the fat doctor looked like, except he was black. 

I seriously felt like I was listening to a recording whenever anyone in that office would talk to me. I seriously hope no one goes in there for support or answers. All they're doing is pumping out pills. Whatever, that's all I wanted.

I got Adipex and Lipotropic. The lady said that the charts show that people who take the Lipo pills lose 25% more weight then people who don't. It didn't take much convincing. 

They just weighed me, asked how much I wanted to weigh, if I worked out, whatever. 

I asked him if I had to do the generic meal plan that they give everyone. He said no because I work out, which is a good thing because I don't eat half of the stuff they had on there anyway. He said just to eat how I always have and to just cut it in half. 

I will start them tomorrow, because you can't take them after two. I am nervous + we will see how it goes. 

MKAY, I will make a post in the morning.

OH MY GAH. I have to be in a swimsuit in 22 days. UGHHHH.

I just got lots of snack foods from England, which is not helping my dieting. I've got to stop eating the junk food. + the cokes, + the coffee. 

TOMORROW.

I will do it tomorrow, promise. 

And tomorrow I go to Quick Trim, yessss. Finally. I've been waiting for this day for so long. It's going to be amazing and it's going to make me feel so much better, and I will love it, and lose weight, and it will be the best thing ever. The end.

All I really want right now is a McDonald's birthday cake. Semi-frozen, plzzz. 

Today I ate some vegetable soup, Easy Mac, + a cupcake. Dummiesss.

P.S. I miss that boyfriend who chubbed me up. 

Sew LUXURIOUS, right?

Too bad it doesn't come in size TUB of LARD. Haha.

I made my appointment at Quick Trim today. I go Monday at 2:30. REMEMBER, I can not forget this. It is essential to my weight loss goal.

So I have a personal trainer, Gwen. She's a cage fighter on the side which means she's pretty ferocious. I hate to work out, but she makes it fun. I see her three times a week + then I just wing it the other two days. Work out video, cardio, ab class. Whatever my little heart desires.

I've decided an all fish and vegetable diet will work for me. I love fish so much, I could never get sick of it. EVERRR.

MKAYYY.

Let's get started.

So I'm going to be using this as a weight loss blog/thingy. 

A dear friend inspired me to start this + here I am. 

I miraculously gained over 50 pounds over a span of about 9 months. 

I like to attribute it to an ex boyfriend. He was a chubby chaser, & I was not chubby when we started dating. 

I think that he made me fat. Ha, I became comfortable and fell in love. He ate 4-5 times a day, so I thought I needed to also. 

I didn't work out anymore because he said I didn't need to because I was beautiful the way I was. 

Now that is sweet and everything, but all it got me was a broken heart and a fat ass. 

I am gonna use this to post inspiration, pictures, progress, whatever I feel like. 

HAYY.